Our Relationship is Lacking Intimacy

A healthy relationship needs intimacy that is sexual and non-sexual.

For some couples when the intimacy stops it means that there may be lack in other areas of the relationship.

Lack of communication (this is the biggest problem)

Lack of fun/spontaneity

Lack of money

Lack of freedom

Lack of connection

Lack of attraction

Lack of energy

Just to name a few.

Let’s look at what shuts down intimacy.

This is the same for heterosexual and same-sex relationships.

For relationships to work well there needs to be polarity and connection.

One partner is a more feminine energy and the other a more masculine energy.

Polarity is the attraction, the connection or magnetism that draws two people together.

Without polarity, there is no connection.

What shuts down intimacy for the Feminine?

The 3 U`s

Feeling UNSEEN.

The feminine needs your attention, your undivided attention, and complete presence

Feeling not UNDERSTOOD.

The feminine needs you to listen, to ask questions. You don`t need to solve the problem just listen.

Feeling UNSAFE, can`t trust.

The feminine needs reassurance all the time.

What shuts down intimacy for the Masculine?

The 3 C`s

Being CRITICISED.

The masculine needs to be admired and appreciated. To be lifted up and not put down.

Feeling CLOSED.

The masculine needs the feminine to be open and playful therefore they can then reciprocate. If the masculine wants to be playful just allow it, be open and surrender.

Feeling CONTROLLED.

The masculine needs freedom and love from the feminine.

10 Things that shut down intimacy and possible solutions

1.  Our phones: put them away and be present when you are with your partner.

2. Stress: Identify where the stress is coming from and discuss a potential solution.

3. Lack of connection: Make the time to connect, plan a date night.

4. Lack of stimulating conversation: Set a boundary around talking about work or children.

5. Not feeling comfortable, body image: Share how you are feeling and commit to making lifestyle changes.

6. Expectations: The porn industry has created unrealistic expectations in the bedroom. It is important to understand the difference between reality and fantasy. These expectations can lead to women not feeling or being good enough. Then comparing themselves to a version of a woman that is unachievable. It is not uncommon for men to also feel this way.

7. Addiction: Porn, Alcohol, Gambling, Drugs, Work. All of these can create stress in the relationship. It is important to acknowledge and seek appropriate help.

8. Kids: Sometime people use the kids as a reason to not be intimate. When there are challenges in the relationship the focus my switch to the kids as a distraction to avoid confronting what is really going on. Communication is key.

9. Don`t have time: Make time

10. Medication: If you are on medication discuss with your health care professional.

This is a topic that I am very passionate about for more information schedule a call and lets chat.

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